da happz

saw massive weight gain and financial ruin... the dark days of exactly a year ago... infact even worse this time. Started several sports including athletics but with the exception of Devon and Caleb it looks like the other friendships are on ice for the time being... citing several factors. the realisation that i am cursed in regards to relationships with other ppl needs to needs to be taken into account by those who continually ask why im such an outcast. it must be spiritual... i really am a despised person... thats a fact! show me any evidence to the contrary if you think im wrong.. i dare ya! Had several hols from work and even then wished i was working... currently on hols atm... infact its going well these hols thanx to a change in tack... much more staying at home this time round.... much needed... especially as this month has PROVEN TO ME THAT I AM DESPISED. nuff sed.... will be discussing the Aussie incident... which funnily enuf has nothing whatsoever to do with Australia now...

Hey guys it has just this minute ticked over to midnite which of course is SUMMER time. Anyway the last event to happen during spring was caleb asking to move in. now whilst i expressed interest when we chatted the other day i was refering to later on... NOT in a months time as he was hoping half an hour ago... assuming for his 18th bday. Anyway i will elaborate on that in a different article as i have yet to write up the "commune" sessions.  But this season also featured his girlfriend giving it a go at mine... with predictable failure.   Thats not the only drama that happened either... Stipe and i fell out for a bit there and certain other ppl the friendships "gone cold" even though there was no falling out.  However me and Jess have reconciled... finally determined that the issues arising from 2 years ago are no longer relevent nor were they even certain to begin with as its chinese whispers at best with ppl... and i routinely associate with others in the drama c...

Been on hols for two days now... but tomorrow im helping out at beachlands... which i have done several times this year. Back into holiday mode next week however... but dont expect too many outings... cars due for wof again so from the first i will be without a car until i get a wof

2 weeks worth to be exact... but these holidays are gonna be different... unlikely to be any roadtrips or anything like that... skools will be on hols.... so forget peace and quiet. so things will be different for me this time round. anyway they start next week... writing my athletics session up now... 

see told ya they were comin thick n fast... heres October... which was noted for a failed living arrangement... "commune 3" officially lasted a week in terms of actual paid up residence... all up about 3 weeks if you include moving stuff in and out... basically didnt work out... alot of false hope on my part to be honest... i thought it mite work out (the living arrangement i mean) but it was clear from the start that she wasnt happy here. anyway that was during my first hols.... the month was a shite month financially with big spending and weight gain but by the end i was adamant that nobody else will visit my place.... let alone live here. im a loner... im happiest when im alone... i dunno why... maybe its ill treatment by ppl... some ppl have treated me badly but most seem ok. i find an inner peace when im alone... maybe some thing spiritual... prob cos God knows im not distracted by others? mmmm . anyway the last day of the month of course is Halloween which unlike last y...

ok the big minus for this period was of ciurse my continued anger which has of course been a major issue this year when it was finally determined that my socalled friends are anything but. I later decided to discontinue using the word "friend" as imo the entity does not exist. but that was later on... i hadnt quite got around to doing that at this time. But i was an angry person... for the most part still pent up frustration from past (but unresolved) hurts. However new things did occur... most notably a suspected trespass by debbie in July. was gonna go to police amd trespass her but decided not to as no proof of it. i only take action like that if i KNOW FOR SURE and that usually involves seeing it myself... which the alleged incident occured when i wasnt there.... and had something to do with Emmas fridge... which as i write this is STILL at mine. But this wasnt a huge factor in the grand scheme of things as the majority of issues were unreleased frustration... which came ...

yesirree about an hour to go before im sorting mail again.  very unlikely to get any more holidays anytime soon... infact could even be my last holidays at post... see what happens but yea with summer around the corner all the skools breaking up soon... worst time to have a holiday imo... yep ill be crankin hours. i can still do stuff after work with these light evenings but forget things that cost money... unless yoir paying... one of my mates owes me ten outings in return for me helping him with his bike... he can take as long as he wants to shout me them but until he does the only outings i go on with him are ones he pays for or ones that are free haha. in amoungst all this work ill get those remaining writeups sorted.... a potentially busy week this week... not just with work but athletics and of course the 5th hobby and the potential of another new hobby tonite. once again not one of the big 4. the big 4 of course being athletics, gymnastics, aikido and pro wrestling.