Lols stopped my last post halfway through it

Anyway I'll continue... I was talking about me believing that God was telling me that this is the year for me finally sorting things out in my life. One of them finally sorting my fitness issues out. I have struggled with a junk food addiction for several years now due to the company I keep. when I was friends with them and used to go on outings I always thought I was too poor and too fat. the only times I was able to save money and lose weight was when I had the occasional falling out... Especially with Eva. We've fallen out 4 times so far.. Including the current one. The two most recent fallings out have resulted in little if any improvements in my physique but in 2010 the second falling out resulted in "fit October" where not nly I lost weight but STILL gained muscle...78kgs is not the lightest I've been in my adult life but amongst the lightest I've been in recent years.. Especially since I've been a postie (ironic I know!!) but never before and never since have I benched 82.5kgs. I got close last year but not quite and in that occasion my bodyweight was well into the 80s. This year so far the lightest I've been is 80.4 and the most I've benched is in the 70s.... at da mo I can't even bench 60kgs and my weight is 85! lols. But in saying that I do believe that it was God that sed that it's about time I finally had some success.... Especially in view of me often giving God the credit for keeping me "honest" and hence never successful so I don't have to be exposed to the challenges that success can bring.... the drug related death of Whitney Houston is of course a stark reminder of this.... No coincidence that the last time I ranted on about God protecting me from success by making me fail all the time was last year when Amy Winehouse met a similar fate thanx to those tag team demons fame and fortune . I've always sed that I could handle one or the other.... But not both.... Infact id rather have neither. To be fir in this latest revelation God made no mention of my fame or fortune increasing.... Definitely nothing spectacular... Any change in my financial position may come as a result from decreased expenditure... arising of course from me falling out with ppl.... And I haven't exactly made friends so far this year so looks like the fame side is gonna stay at it's pitiful bottom feeding best. Mind you fame isn't popularity... being Imfamous is always a possibility. I do NOT see myself being popular this year... Judging from current happs ppl just love to hate me and to be honest if I was living alone then I would probably be a full on loner as I really do have issues with humanity at this present time. And yes I am fully aware that the fallings out occurred when I decided to NOT live alone. That pissed ppl off from day one.... My friends... Both former and current, my neighbors and even my parents... My mum got possessed by a demon when it occurred... Well from what she was saying it sounded like it was demonic possession... Could be wrong but it was out of character for my mum to say that.... Mind you episodes of hate by assorted ppl have been commonplace since I got ppl living with me. everything I do is met with a wall... My youth pastor commented on that about me even back in the 90s... this is nothing new for me! but then again when I look at ppl being destroyed by success and then look at my life I can't help but be thankful for all those walls stopping me from being successful. and apart from pissing ppl off... Something that's getting easier each year for me I have never tasted genuine success. I believe God was saying to me that this year will be different.. Was it God or was it just voices in my head? I guess we will find out... Bt whatever it was it did NOT say that it would come to me... I have to go and get it. Maybe a bit of ironic punishment to convince me that success isn't worth the blood sweat ad tears shed to get it.... a way of God telling me to be happy with my lot in life which to be honest is pretty good.